Making Love vs. F-ing

In a recent interview with Honey Magazine, rapper Wale (pronounced "wah-lay") gave the MALE PERSPECTIVE on this topic:

Q: What’s the difference between making love and f*cking?

A: I’ve never considered myself a sex addict, though I do enjoy an occasional nut as much as the next guy. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to appreciate the value of the highest form of physical attraction/affection — making love. Most of us get the urge often; mine normally come after a night of weed and alcohol… or that morning stretch. Not sure how my ladies’ urges occurs or how often. You all tend to be quite sporadic and random with your hormones.

The art of making love seems like a pastime, whereas f*cking, has become this generation’s making-out. I think men pursue it a bit more aggressively then women — after clubs, after school, etc. I personally enjoy the occasional quickie but never OD. Too much sex can be counterproductive, and truthfully, I’m pursuing monogamy — even if it is pessimistically searching. Sexing, in my humble opinion, has nothing to do with feelings or physical attraction for that matter. I think a woman can be sexy but not cute or bun-able (aka “wifeable” in DC terminology). These women are the ones who get me thinking ‘bout pulling their hair back and moving some furniture, but nothing more then a 15-minute — 25 if there’s some VSOP nearby. There is no passion, no strings attached. There may be welts and bruises.

 It’s essentially a sexual spar between two vigorous opponents — with no losers. Henney with no chase.  No Jodeci. No kissing. Get your clothes and leave when it’s over. Please don’t sleep next to me. Please don’t call me for 24 hrs… and we can do this again.

But don’t assume I haven’t been on the receiving end. I’ve even mistaken a f*ck for a love session before. Not fun.  Making love is simply put: poetry in motion. Stroke her to the beat of her favorite song. Strawberries, Champagne, a bubble bath, eye contact. Hearing her heart beat while slowly handling business.

The aftermath of lovemaking is almost as important as the actual act. Gazing at the ceiling until we doze off. Running fingers through hair. Her playing with the dreads, ears, or whatever she deems necessary after the act. Sometimes a female needs to be reminded that there are feelings behind the sex. And to never be confused with sexing.

Making love, in my opinion is what makes the world go round. The toughest dude, the most cold hearted gold-digger — they all have that thing. Even if it’s buried in a dark place. I believe the art of making love (when it ACTUALLY is LOVE… MUTUALLY) is like an exercise of the soul. It’s like massaging the deepest feeling you could have for someone. For fear of sounding like the turning point of a Tyler Perry flick, I’ll gracefully bow out of the in-depth description, but before I go, I want to remind everyone that the difference between sexing and making love should never be confused.

Love safe, love hard, and love consistently!

SOURCE: HONEY MAGAZINE 

Well, well, well! Who woulda thought? I must say I'm pleasantly surprised by his outlook. Kudos to you sir. That being said, it is imperative that you love/fuck responsibly....and by that I mean know which one you are actually doing at the time!
Mistaking fucking for making love is a recipe for disaster.

The Truth Hurts... That’s Why People Lie

“Does this make me look fat?”
“Am I the best you ever had?”
   A common misconception is “if you love me, you’ll tell me the truth”. SOMETIMES… the opposite is true. You may be lied to because you are loved (or at least cared about). How would you feel if someone truthfully answered one of the above questions? Do you expect an honest answer when you ask them? If so, I guarantee you will get the most honest answer from a complete stranger who doesn’t give two shits about you. Friends, family, and significant others feel obligated to “spare our feelings”…hence the lie.

   The problem is that society values tact and manners much more than honesty. Tact, by definition is a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations. Tact is like morality, it's defined by the person. You would call me rude if I were to say “Yeah…that does make you look fat”. In fact, I’m often called a bitch because I’m brutally honest. I personally believe that you should be most honest with the ones you love and vice versa. But that’s just me. .....I am HONEST…NOT MEAN. The truth does not come wrapped in a bow. The truth can go either way depending on how it is received and it is the receiver’s responsibility to process it.

“It takes two to speak the truth: one to speak, and another to hear.” ~ Henry David Thoreau.

   Sometimes you have to swallow a bitter reality…BUT how many times has each of us received an emotional wound followed by the justification, "I’m only being honest!"? "Honesty". The word has gotten a bad rap as it is often used to rationalize many behaviors that would otherwise not be tolerated. Keep in mind that being mean is to have the intent of malice. If you want to be mean to someone, it takes EFFORT, some put forth more than others. If I were to say to you that I am going to tell you the truth just.........BRACE YOURSELF. Not now or shall I ever hurt anyone’s feelings intentionally. It’s just that honesty is a different aspect of life. If anything, it is done out of respect for myself, but mostly for you. You tell priests the truth, you tell your friends the truth, you tell a judge the truth, you even tell God the truth … and he was there when it happened. The point is that someone in your life has earned the respect of knowing and receiving the truth from you. If you’re not going to do it for them, do it for yourself... cuz telling the truth can feel pretty damn good.

   What is the motivation behind these questions that tend to create such an awkward situation for everyone involved? Who knows? Just be careful not to let the concept of “honesty” be used against you. How? By implying that if you don’t tell all, then you’re being dishonest. It’s always amazing to me how many people struggle with feelings of guilt because they harbor feelings that they haven’t shared. I don’t know how the myth has been propagated but it seems that it’s something of a sin if you haven’t shared all of your feelings. If sharing feelings is being honest, then not sharing your feelings is dishonest, right? Wrong. Not sharing your feelings may be tactful, or considerate, or maybe just plain careful.

   We are social creatures, and seek acceptance in nearly everything we do. It’s normal…it’s ok. BUT… like most things, moderation is imperative. My friends know that to come to me for advice, means you’re going to hear the absolute truth (as I see it). If you are lucky enough to have a friend like me…who will tell you the truth regardless…ask away (just make sure you have your armor on). If you are the least bit apprehensive about asking the question in the first place…chances are you’re hoping to get lied to. Because they have such “good hearts”, most people are happy to oblige. As a FRIEND I believe in honesty, even if it may hurt, because I think "being nice" hurts more in the end and is less than honest. The truth hurts, but in the end...lies hurt more.

“True friends stab you in the front.” ~ Oscar Wilde

“Truth only hurts in proportion to how much you have ignored it.” ~ Me

Randomized by:: MissKaliaMarie

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