“Am I the best you ever had?”
A common misconception is “if you love me, you’ll tell me the truth”. SOMETIMES… the opposite is true. You may be lied to because you are loved (or at least cared about). How would you feel if someone truthfully answered one of the above questions? Do you expect an honest answer when you ask them? If so, I guarantee you will get the most honest answer from a complete stranger who doesn’t give two shits about you. Friends, family, and significant others feel obligated to “spare our feelings”…hence the lie.
The problem is that society values tact and manners much more than honesty. Tact, by definition is a keen sense of what to say or do to avoid giving offense; skill in dealing with difficult or delicate situations. Tact is like morality, it's defined by the person. You would call me rude if I were to say “Yeah…that does make you look fat”. In fact, I’m often called a bitch because I’m brutally honest. I personally believe that you should be most honest with the ones you love and vice versa. But that’s just me. .....I am HONEST…NOT MEAN. The truth does not come wrapped in a bow. The truth can go either way depending on how it is received and it is the receiver’s responsibility to process it.
“It takes two to speak the truth: one to speak, and another to hear.” ~ Henry David Thoreau.
Sometimes you have to swallow a bitter reality…BUT how many times has each of us received an emotional wound followed by the justification, "I’m only being honest!"? "Honesty". The word has gotten a bad rap as it is often used to rationalize many behaviors that would otherwise not be tolerated. Keep in mind that being mean is to have the intent of malice. If you want to be mean to someone, it takes EFFORT, some put forth more than others. If I were to say to you that I am going to tell you the truth just.........BRACE YOURSELF. Not now or shall I ever hurt anyone’s feelings intentionally. It’s just that honesty is a different aspect of life. If anything, it is done out of respect for myself, but mostly for you. You tell priests the truth, you tell your friends the truth, you tell a judge the truth, you even tell God the truth … and he was there when it happened. The point is that someone in your life has earned the respect of knowing and receiving the truth from you. If you’re not going to do it for them, do it for yourself... cuz telling the truth can feel pretty damn good.
What is the motivation behind these questions that tend to create such an awkward situation for everyone involved? Who knows? Just be careful not to let the concept of “honesty” be used against you. How? By implying that if you don’t tell all, then you’re being dishonest. It’s always amazing to me how many people struggle with feelings of guilt because they harbor feelings that they haven’t shared. I don’t know how the myth has been propagated but it seems that it’s something of a sin if you haven’t shared all of your feelings. If sharing feelings is being honest, then not sharing your feelings is dishonest, right? Wrong. Not sharing your feelings may be tactful, or considerate, or maybe just plain careful.
We are social creatures, and seek acceptance in nearly everything we do. It’s normal…it’s ok. BUT… like most things, moderation is imperative. My friends know that to come to me for advice, means you’re going to hear the absolute truth (as I see it). If you are lucky enough to have a friend like me…who will tell you the truth regardless…ask away (just make sure you have your armor on). If you are the least bit apprehensive about asking the question in the first place…chances are you’re hoping to get lied to. Because they have such “good hearts”, most people are happy to oblige. As a FRIEND I believe in honesty, even if it may hurt, because I think "being nice" hurts more in the end and is less than honest. The truth hurts, but in the end...lies hurt more.
“True friends stab you in the front.” ~ Oscar Wilde
“Truth only hurts in proportion to how much you have ignored it.” ~ Me
Randomized by:: MissKaliaMarie
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