I promise I won't get on a soapbox....

Throughout the year, I am continually reminded of the needs of the less fortunate. While I respect the large organizations and those who support them; it is important to remember that there are many organizations and causes in your community that get overlooked and ALL contributions help in some way. Your TIME is one of the most valuable things you can give.

Here are just a few of my favorite charities:

 40 Girls & Some Shoes

 http://www.40girlsandsomeshoes.org/

 Blankets of Love 

 http://www.blanketsoflove.org/

Habitat for Humanity

 http://www.habitat.org/  

This Holiday season; let’s go out in our communities and give back…you’ll be glad you did!

The Toddler Laws of Property

I saw this on a kid's t-shirt and HAD to buy it:

Toddler Laws of Property

1. If I like it... it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my hand... it’s mine.
3. If I had it a little while ago... it’s mine.
4. If it looks just like mine... it’s mine.
5. If I think it’s mine... it’s mine.

Interestingly enough...this can also be applied to [some] females. No shade though.

LOVE = LOSS ?

How far can you afford to bend to preserve your relationship? Most relationships require us to bend to a certain extent, but how much can we bend without a loss of self? How far can you go in giving up yourself to avoid losing your partner? How much of yourself can you afford to sacrifice to avoid losing someone you love? 

A truly loving relationship is a relationship where each person accepts and even values the differences between them. If you have to excessively bend your values to preserve the relationship, what are you preserving? You are not preserving a loving relationship since love does not demand that you constantly bend your values. When both partners are open to learning about their differences, those differences become fertile ground for the process of personal and spiritual growth. 

Problems occur when one or both partners are not available for exploration and learning. If one partner says, “Just accept me the way I am,” or gets angry or withdrawn when the other partner attempts to discuss the situation... learning is impossible. Then the other partner either has to acquiesce or leave…not a healthy situation. On the emotional AND spiritual level, you can afford to lose your partner but you cannot afford to lose yourself.

But I digress....

Law 34

From the 48 Laws of Power

Law 34.

 

Be Royal in your Own Fashion:  Act like a King to be treated like one

The way you carry yourself will often determine how you are treated; In the long run, appearing vulgar or common will make people disrespect you.  For a king respects himself and inspires the same sentiment in others.  By acting regally and confident of your powers, you make yourself seem destined to wear a crown.

Thought for the day...

There is no such thing as "BASTARDS" & "BITCHES" While you may have experience with "A" bastard or "A" bitch; it is vital to remind yourself that just like you are an exception to someone's rule...SOMEONE will be an exception to yours. 

All men are not dogs, nor are all women bitches. The adage "don't throw the baby out with the bath water" applies here. 

That's all I have for now....

In Honor of Black History Month

I would like to share something I found in my inbox...

 Subject: Fw: "LIFE WITHOUT BLACK PEOPLE"

---

 A very humorous and revealing story is told about a group of white people who were fed up with African Americans, so they joined together and wished themselves away.



They passed through a deep dark tunnel and emerged in sort of a twilight zone where there is an America without black people.


At first these white people breathed a sigh of relief. At last, they said No more crime, drugs, violence and welfare. All of the blacks have gone! Then suddenly, reality set in. The "NEW AMERICA" is not America at all-only a barren land.

1. There are very few crops that have flourished because the nation was built on a slave-supported system.


2. There are no cities with tall skyscrapers because Alexander Mils, a black man, invented the elevator, and without it, one finds great difficulty reaching higher floors.


3. There are few if any cars because Richard Spikes, a black man, invented the automatic gearshift, Joseph Gambol, also black, invented the Super Charge System for Internal Combustion Engines, and Garrett A. Morgan, a black man, invented the traffic signals.


4. Furthermore, one could not use the rapid transit system because its procurer was the electric trolley, which was invented by another black man, Albert R. Robinson.


5. Even if there were streets on which cars and a rapid transit system could operate, they were cluttered with paper because an African American, Charles Brooks, invented the street sweeper.



6. There were few if any newspapers, magazines and books because John Love invented the pencil sharpener, William Purveys invented the fountain pen, and Lee Barrage invented the Type Writing Machine W. A. Love invented the Advanced Printing Press. They were all, you guessed it, Black.



7. Even if Americans could write their letters, articles and books, they would not have been transported by mail because William Barry invented the Postmarking and Canceling Machine, William Purveys invented the Hand Stamp and Philip Downing invented the Letter Drop.



8. The lawns were brown and wilted because Joseph Smith invented the Lawn Sprinkler and John Burr the Lawn Mower.



9. When they entered their homes, they found them to be poorly ventilated and poorly heated. You see, Frederick Jones invented the Air Conditioner and Alice Parker the Heating Furnace.



Their homes were also dim. But of course, Lewis Lattimer later invented the Electric Lamp, Michael Harvey invented the lantern and Granville T. Woods invented the Automatic Cut off Switch.


Their homes were also filthy because Thomas W. Steward invented the Mop and Lloyd P. Ray the Dust Pan.



10. Their children met them at the door-barefoot ed, shabby, motley and unkempt. But what could one expect?


Jan E. Matzelinger invented the Shoe Lasting Machine, Walter Sammons invented the Comb, Sarah Boone invented the Ironing Board and George T. Samon invented the Clothes Dryer.



11. Finally, they were resigned to at least have dinner amidst all of this turmoil. But here again, the food had spoiled because another Black Man, John Standard invented the refrigerator.


Now, isn't that something? What would this country be like without the contributions of Blacks, as African-Americans? Martin Luther King, Jr. said, "by the time we leave for work, Americans have depended on the inventions from the minds of Blacks." Black history includes more than just slavery, Frederick Douglass, Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcolm X, and Marcus Garvey & W.E.B. Dubois.


PLEASE SHARE, ABUNDANTLY 

Pretty cool, huh?

I hate this word...

but these boys make me say it....SWAG!

I'm "Straight" BUT.......

I'd do her...

and her.....

....AND HER! (Well I kinda wanna BE her...but, whatever) 

 

This may become a series.... we'll see!

Making Love vs. F-ing

In a recent interview with Honey Magazine, rapper Wale (pronounced "wah-lay") gave the MALE PERSPECTIVE on this topic:

Q: What’s the difference between making love and f*cking?

A: I’ve never considered myself a sex addict, though I do enjoy an occasional nut as much as the next guy. But as I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned to appreciate the value of the highest form of physical attraction/affection — making love. Most of us get the urge often; mine normally come after a night of weed and alcohol… or that morning stretch. Not sure how my ladies’ urges occurs or how often. You all tend to be quite sporadic and random with your hormones.

The art of making love seems like a pastime, whereas f*cking, has become this generation’s making-out. I think men pursue it a bit more aggressively then women — after clubs, after school, etc. I personally enjoy the occasional quickie but never OD. Too much sex can be counterproductive, and truthfully, I’m pursuing monogamy — even if it is pessimistically searching. Sexing, in my humble opinion, has nothing to do with feelings or physical attraction for that matter. I think a woman can be sexy but not cute or bun-able (aka “wifeable” in DC terminology). These women are the ones who get me thinking ‘bout pulling their hair back and moving some furniture, but nothing more then a 15-minute — 25 if there’s some VSOP nearby. There is no passion, no strings attached. There may be welts and bruises.

 It’s essentially a sexual spar between two vigorous opponents — with no losers. Henney with no chase.  No Jodeci. No kissing. Get your clothes and leave when it’s over. Please don’t sleep next to me. Please don’t call me for 24 hrs… and we can do this again.

But don’t assume I haven’t been on the receiving end. I’ve even mistaken a f*ck for a love session before. Not fun.  Making love is simply put: poetry in motion. Stroke her to the beat of her favorite song. Strawberries, Champagne, a bubble bath, eye contact. Hearing her heart beat while slowly handling business.

The aftermath of lovemaking is almost as important as the actual act. Gazing at the ceiling until we doze off. Running fingers through hair. Her playing with the dreads, ears, or whatever she deems necessary after the act. Sometimes a female needs to be reminded that there are feelings behind the sex. And to never be confused with sexing.

Making love, in my opinion is what makes the world go round. The toughest dude, the most cold hearted gold-digger — they all have that thing. Even if it’s buried in a dark place. I believe the art of making love (when it ACTUALLY is LOVE… MUTUALLY) is like an exercise of the soul. It’s like massaging the deepest feeling you could have for someone. For fear of sounding like the turning point of a Tyler Perry flick, I’ll gracefully bow out of the in-depth description, but before I go, I want to remind everyone that the difference between sexing and making love should never be confused.

Love safe, love hard, and love consistently!

SOURCE: HONEY MAGAZINE 

Well, well, well! Who woulda thought? I must say I'm pleasantly surprised by his outlook. Kudos to you sir. That being said, it is imperative that you love/fuck responsibly....and by that I mean know which one you are actually doing at the time!
Mistaking fucking for making love is a recipe for disaster.

Law 16

from the 48 Laws of Power

 Law 16

Use Absence to Increase Respect and Honor

Too much circulation makes the price go down:  The more you are seen and heard from, the more common you appear.  If you are already established in a group, temporary withdrawal from it will make you more talked about, even more admired.  You must learn when to leave.  Create value through scarcity.

Just Thought I'd Share...

Someone sent me this in one of those [usually] annoying emails:

The Strong Black Woman

While struggling with the reality of being human instead of a myth, the strong black woman passed away.

Medical sources say she died of natural causes, but those who knew her know she died from being silent when she should have been screaming...

Smiling when she should have been raging... 

From being sick and not wanting anyone to know because her pain might inconvenience them.

She died from an overdose of other people clinging to her when she didn't even have energy for herself...

She died from loving men who didn't love themselves and could only offer her a crippled reflection...

She died from raising children alone...

She died from the lies her grandmother told her mother and her mother told her about life, men, and racism...

She died from asphyxiation, from secrets she kept trying to burn away instead of allowing herself the kind of nervous breakdown she was entitled to, but only white girls could afford...

She died from being responsible, because she was the last rung on the ladder; there was no one under her to dump on...

The strong black woman is dead...

She died from being dragged down and sat upon by un-evolved women posing as sisters and friends...

She died from tolerating "Mr. Wrong" just to have a man around the house...

She died from sacrificing herself for everybody and everything when what she really wanted to do was be a singer, dancer, or some magnificent other...

She died from lies of omission because she didn't want to bring the black man down...

She died from the myths that would not allow her to show weakness without being chastised...

She died from hiding her feelings until they became hard and bitter enough to invade her womb and breasts like angry tumors...

She died from never being enough of what men wanted, or being too much for the men she wanted...

She died from being too black and died again for not being black enough...

She died from being misinformed about her mind, her body, and her capabilities...

She died from knees pressed too closely together because respect was never part of the foreplay that was being shoved at her...

And sometimes when she refused to die, when she just refused to give in, she was killed by the lethal images of blonde hair, blue eyes, and flat butts...

Sometimes, she was stomped to death by racism and sexism; executed by hi-tech ignorance while she carried the family in her belly. the community on her head, and the race on her back...

The strong black woman is dead......or is she?

I know I'm not! Pass this on to all the strong black women that you love, respect, and admire. I just did.

~There was no author to credit...but reading this made my day!

YIKES!!

Be careful who you share your body with.....you only get one.

This female has full blown AIDS AND Syphilis. She lives in the Detroit area and is infecting men AND women to "get back" at them. Allegedly. 

She's blind in her right eye, and has lesions on her feet, so she keeps her socks on during sex. ..... she's reading off the names of people that she has infected. 

Law 18

From the 48 Laws of Power...

 Law 18 

Do Not Build Fortresses to Protect Yourself - Isolation is Dangerous
  The world is dangerous and enemies are everywhere – everyone has to protect themselves.  A fortress seems the safest. But isolation exposes you to more dangers than it protects you from – it cuts you off from valuable information, it makes you conspicuous and an easy target.  Better to circulate among people find allies, mingle.  You are shielded from your enemies by the crowd.

Start tearing down those walls folks....at the very least make yourself a window.

How to Spot a True Friend

A true friend loves you…

A true friend wants only the best for you…

A true friend will make you a priority NOT an option…

When you see a friend about to make a huge mistake do you attempt to stop them?

Do you tell them that you fear for their happiness?

Or do you bite your tongue and leave them to make that choice because you know they have a lesson to learn?

Will offering unsolicited advice hurt or help?

Will you have the strength to be there when they come to you for support later?

These are the things that keep your true friend awake at night.

I'm Tired of Making Lemonade!

Some relationships are a lot like lemons at a car dealership.  
They require some work to get them up and running (but not always smoothly). 
Often the salesperson will fudge the truth or hide a few flaws to close the deal.

Maybe you knew it was a fixer -upper but were willing to invest the time and effort because you saw some sort of potential. 

Initially it feels really good to know that you know exactly what it takes to get the car running. 
You will, of course, get where you want to go.....eventually . 

But do you really want to have to jump your car every time? 
Hot wiring a car is fun the first few times…but it only works for a little while. 
It's OK for somethings in life to be easy.
Earning something doesn't mean going through hell to get it...and it won't make you any more "deserving" of it.

Besides, sometimes you just wanna hop in and...…. DRIVE.

Allow Me to Re-Introduce Myself...

I have learned an important lesson….I cannot control my emotions, but I can control my actions.

Internalizing fear, angst, worry, or anxiety for the sake of others is [at first glance] selfless.

In reality this is completely selfish…because it is an attempt to excuse oneself from any blame associated with their discomfort. An implosion is practically inevitable .

Why would you get up the nerve to do something that you subconsciously know will hurt… if you’re not careful?

It is because while in the moment, you feel empowered and un-stifled. 

Some people do it for the rush, for the temporary numbing effect. In some cases…. so that the rejection feels more like "blah" than "ouch"

Simple Physics teaches us that what goes up must come down.

It’s always after all that intensity…that you crash, and you have to figure out...was it worth it?

Was it worth jumping down the rabbit hole?

I’m no victim, I live life, it breaks me and I pull it together. 
I loathe a pity party.

I can’t help who I am. I know my problems, my pet peeves, and my perfect failures. I also know my actions impact my off-spring and those in close proximity to me. But I haven’t served my purpose yet.

Even after taking hits from everyone, and waking up in the morning mentally sore…I own my life, and I am responsible for every action and decision made in it. Regardless of whether I fuck up every day, I must find the strength to own up to it. 

I am myself… even if it hurts.